a journey to motherhood

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Sit still.

So I went to Cebu temple. 
It was beyond amazing. 
And as always and will never forget a counsel from my mission president.. 
Learning doesn't start from the actual training, it starts in the preparation. 

This is a photo taken when we first arrived in the patron house, 
a part of preparation before entering the house of the Lord once again. 
Sure enough, more thoughts while sitting in the little extension of heaven...

Tough times. Frail in heart. 
Sometimes you just have to sit still, surrender your all warrior self and know there is a God. 
A loving Heavenly Father who knows every inch of  you inclusive of your most vulnerable sides 
and a loving Savior who knows you can be like him despite and in spite of your vulnerabilities. 
The world will always tell you otherwise so from time to time.. 
sit still and know strength is when you choose to be one. 
Sit still and know true happiness is always just around the corner. 
Sit still and know when you stand up, you can conquer the world once more.
Tough times are never for the frailty of heart, that's for sure. 
It's for the heart. though fragile, to hang in there courageously.
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Friday, May 15, 2015

Why Family History?

The spirit of Elijah is the sweetest as we prepare to make ordinances for our ancestors. 

The new Family Search website was a bit challenging at first.
I remember the campus proselyting during the mission. 
The church is brilliant. (and true)
I was able to check it in the mission but but less concentration in the website.
 I'm not a techy person I had to look for our ward consultant. 
But it's cooler than I thought.
And guess what? After fixing my account and making all the necessary, I found out I reserved many ordinances ages ago. I can't even, I was pumped up!

Why do family history? 
It makes me a happy granddaughter of Abraham. 
Don't you just want to be with your family forever?
It is the Lord's commandment. 
It is a part of my covenant. 
Because I don't want to see the whole earth utterly wasted though I am 100% certain Heavenly Father would not allow that. ;) 

And because..
Life is hard and not perfect. I am not perfect. 
Do something that will make you one step closer to perfection. 

And the perk of it all? 
It reminds you of the living you need to add to the tree. 

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Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Great things come in small packages

After my usual morning prayer I went ahead and sent lesson memos from my classes last night. It has been my usual schedule for the past couple of weeks. I will have 8-12 classes daily and I send the memos early the next day. It's a routine but it's okay. 

I should say it never stops being a bit overwhelming. Finding out what to do and where to go. What job do you really want and is the next semester really best time to get back to school. What is and what not. These and all the other life obligations makes me feel overwhelmed at times. 

And sometimes it feels like I'm hitting the wall. 

But.. Heavenly Father gives me what I can only bear now. 

I "accidentally" watched the Face to Face with Elder and Sister Bednar after the usual after work routine. It was live and I only watched the last 45 minutes or so. But I thought I heard what I needed to hear. I felt what I needed to feel. 

So here are several notes I made and the attributes triggered. 

I can do all things Christ. (faith)
There are times when people are silent and they are screaming.. but noone will know that unless with a gift of discernment. (service)
The answer from the Holy Ghost come in small packages most of the time not in big bundles. (patience in receiving revelation)
Decision makings.. you won't know if its correct unless you act and press forward. (to act and not to be acted upon)
Use technology with discipline. 
The things that I do not have answers for do not overrule the things that I have answers for. (faith)
Include the Lord as your partner in every question. 

I love feeling the presence of the Holy Ghost so strong. It's the same feeling I have in the mission conferences, or interview with the mission president.. and in companionship study or teaching the investigators. It was a familiar feeling I missed and wanted to stay everyday, but let's face it.. now that I am back from the mission the feeling as strong as how I felt today can sometimes be blocked. This morning though, I was reminded I could make my own sacred grove anywhere anytime to feel the sweet spirit of revelation. 

And besides not all revelation will come in big bundles or in a strong way. It will come in small packages, most of the time and it's true for me. There are greater things to come. 

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Sunday, May 10, 2015

The Truth About My Mother

My mission often allows me to
 love people even more and see who they really are and what they really do. 
And with all the studies I had regarding motherhood and being a daughter, it was then I realized I never really understood my mother. 

Listening to this song written for Emma Smith
.. I couldn't but remember my own mother. How these words perfectly fits her. My mother is not a prophet's wife nor had she or will cross freezing rivers or run from mobs to protect her children.. but while I was pondering the hardships and toil my mother had... I thought she has the same brave fragile heart.

She never had an ordinary day. 
She decided to have 13 kids. 
It took me a very very long time to understand.
 It was a choice. 
She chose to be a mother of many with her wonderful husband.
She chose not to have any ordinary day with him. 

It was never in between. 
Her days were extraordinary in many little ways. 
W ether it's hard or easy, it was never ordinary. 
The thought of her having a child at a young age makes me gasp in awe. 
The stories of her craving for more knowledge to she'll know how to raise us good. 
My heart overflows with love when
 I think of her great choices often not for herself but for her children
My heart even overflows with gratitude because of how brave she is
 during times which is completely new to her. When she needs to make choices foreign to her. 
When she makes mistakes only to learn things sometimes the hard way. 
Because she has to.
 She has to grow and learn her profession with mistakes every now and then.
When she has to break so she could be more beautiful. 
 And then she blooms like no any other.
 I wonder how heaven rejoices over her courage and sacrifice. 
She taught taught us to be brave. She taught us hard work and sacrifice. 
She didn't do charity. She is charity. 
She made it a part of herself and it became very natural she didn't know she is making it. 
She knew her children will be good and though her fragile heart will ache from time to time because of her children's imperfections she still believes her children will be good. 
And so she taught us to see the good in everyone. She taught us to repent and make a better us. 
She taught us that change is needed to be good. 
She taught us what is important and to dream. 
She taught us to chase after them.
 Her capability to love and learn makes my testimony of a loving Heavenly Father even stronger. 
Her love is  divine I know she inherits it from Someone with divinity. 

My mother is stronger than the storm while her love gives peace and hope. 
I have seen her almost giving up but then again like so many other days, she didn't.
 She worked everyday, sacrificed even more everyday. Loves even more. 

She taught us in the best way that she knew. She may have not giving everything nor taught everything good.. but she gave and still gives all of herself for her children. 
She will not allow anyone to make her do it otherwise. 
 And what she gives are never ordinary.
Because after all she is always extraordinary. 

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Sunday, May 3, 2015

How about earning a medallion before getting married?

I love getting better everyday. 

 And what else can help us women be better this summer and after?

 I know. I know. I was long gone my Young Women years. 
 But hey, we never graduate from being better every day. 

 Suffice to say, I did not understand but I do now.
It's more essential than how you think it is. I will not talk about regrets but how hopeful it is today. 

 I have many friends who earned it, and they are the best examples. My mission allowed me to know more women who understood and earned it. And now, my sweet sister May (who just turned 16) will be getting her medallion soon. She understood.
Such an inspiration. 

You are given one chance after another because He never gives up on you.

 I'm excited! I wish I could be with my own sisters and sister missionaries who so wanted to go through the program. Come on, let do it because it's worth it.

Extra helps do not hurt.
 Cool personal progress helper site. 

How  about earning a medallion before getting married? NO. 

How about getting better everyday at your values and shining brighter and brighter before marriage? YES. 

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