Walking in Sunlight!

a journey to motherhood

Sunday, July 19, 2015

It's Great to be 28!

Who used to be so scared of aging? I WAS!
I couldn't even tell you how dreadful it was to me. 
I wasn't scared because of wrinkles and stuff. I was scared of aging and not living life to the fullest. Too many desires of my heart are out of reach. Dreams were blurry and goals remained but goals. 
The good news is I didn't stay being the person I was. 
I was different then and I'm more different now. 
I could talk to that person now and tell her how it was and she will be happy to be gone forever.
 She will be happy about what we've become.

So! I thought it's sweet to write a few things I love the most over the past year. 

Turning 28 at this point in my life is perfect. 
The way I know, live  and love the gospel at 28 is wonderful.
 I've never felt closer to my Savior. 
78 won't make me understand the Atonement fully but the testimony
 I have now about It is life changing.
I've never felt more like a daughter to my Heavenly Father than now. 
It's a relationship that continues to shine everyday.
 I've come to recognize, accept and do his will more lovingly. 
A little more submissive each day.  

I've been more kind to myself. Gone are the low self esteem and unkind self perception. 
Gone are the I can't do it and I don't know what and how to do. 
Gone are everyone else is better than I am and I will never be good enough. 
A little kindness to the heart everyday is the way for me to turn more outward than inward. 
I'm more comfortable in my own skin now, more patient with my own imperfections 
and forgive myself more quickly. 
That results to healthier and happier relationships at home and outside.
 I continue to learn but I'm glad i grew to see others raw and still so beautiful 
and be patient with others imperfections too. 

I know more now what to do. 
I feel confident about the future. I know what work to pursue,
skills I need to develop, what books I should read and the role it plays in the great plan.
 (okay maybe the books are too obvious) 
But everything really matters. 
At 28, I feel more certain how I would and could bless my home and my own posterity. 
I know I'm a woman and the influence I have is eternally important. 
I came to love temple marriage like how my Heavenly Father wants me to. 
I have to insert that because it is true. 

But every girl in the church knows that! No, they don't. 
For some, these realizations came early and easy. But for most, it came slowly and hard. 
But to each is her own story. 
Whatever your story is I hope it is what will yield you the greatest eternal advantage. 
I can see mine that way.

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Friday, July 10, 2015

Season for Gratitude

It's been too long, I know. 
It's time I get a post up because the season for gratitude is always too. (like how President Monson described prayer) 

As always, it's been up and down. But blessings come after much tribulation. 
You have no idea how hard it has been emotionally and financially. 
But see, it worked. The gospel always works. 

I'm grateful for an ever supportive family, who silently but firmly knows I just needed time until I figure out what job to do. They've been there for me no matter what. The best support system ever. They are the sunshine I always keep in my pocket. 

A circle of friends who and I think I would be understating this.
 Friends who love and enjoy the blessings of the atonement. A visit from friends for my mom, long distance conversation with mission bestfriends who I can relate to and endless possibilities of building more friendships at home. 

And guess what?
 It took very long for me to realize that I just got the job I have been praying for several months ago. My prayers kinda changed as to the specifics and what not but really.. it's amazing. 
Working as a remote executive assistant sounds like nothing special now here in the country
 but  the job works for me. And I work for the job. 
Yes, I miss dressing up and the human interaction but 
I enjoy the time it's giving me as I am gradually starting my game on.
 I am super excited about the things I do for them and the learning it offers me too. 
Sure enough, there are other opportunities peeking at the door 
but inspiration for every decision making is whats more important. 

Church callings, dear. Seminary teacher.. I mean.. what? Why? Just imagine my happiness. 
I'm thrilled about how I will have an impact to these young minds? 
Scary too huh? But when the Lord calls He qualifies. 
I will also serve as a Single Adults representative which totally blows me away because of reasons. :D 

I will be honest, I'm surprised with the confidence and faith attached as I'm writing this post. 
It's great. 

I am a happy camper. 

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Saturday, May 23, 2015

Sit still.

So I went to Cebu temple. 
It was beyond amazing. 
And as always and will never forget a counsel from my mission president.. 
Learning doesn't start from the actual training, it starts in the preparation. 

This is a photo taken when we first arrived in the patron house, 
a part of preparation before entering the house of the Lord once again. 
Sure enough, more thoughts while sitting in the little extension of heaven...

Tough times. Frail in heart. 
Sometimes you just have to sit still, surrender your all warrior self and know there is a God. 
A loving Heavenly Father who knows every inch of  you inclusive of your most vulnerable sides 
and a loving Savior who knows you can be like him despite and in spite of your vulnerabilities. 
The world will always tell you otherwise so from time to time.. 
sit still and know strength is when you choose to be one. 
Sit still and know true happiness is always just around the corner. 
Sit still and know when you stand up, you can conquer the world once more.
Tough times are never for the frailty of heart, that's for sure. 
It's for the heart. though fragile, to hang in there courageously.
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Friday, May 15, 2015

Why Family History?

The spirit of Elijah is the sweetest as we prepare to make ordinances for our ancestors. 

The new Family Search website was a bit challenging at first.
I remember the campus proselyting during the mission. 
The church is brilliant. (and true)
I was able to check it in the mission but but less concentration in the website.
 I'm not a techy person I had to look for our ward consultant. 
But it's cooler than I thought.
And guess what? After fixing my account and making all the necessary, I found out I reserved many ordinances ages ago. I can't even, I was pumped up!

Why do family history? 
It makes me a happy granddaughter of Abraham. 
Don't you just want to be with your family forever?
It is the Lord's commandment. 
It is a part of my covenant. 
Because I don't want to see the whole earth utterly wasted though I am 100% certain Heavenly Father would not allow that. ;) 

And because..
Life is hard and not perfect. I am not perfect. 
Do something that will make you one step closer to perfection. 

And the perk of it all? 
It reminds you of the living you need to add to the tree. 

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Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Great things come in small packages

After my usual morning prayer I went ahead and sent lesson memos from my classes last night. It has been my usual schedule for the past couple of weeks. I will have 8-12 classes daily and I send the memos early the next day. It's a routine but it's okay. 

I should say it never stops being a bit overwhelming. Finding out what to do and where to go. What job do you really want and is the next semester really best time to get back to school. What is and what not. These and all the other life obligations makes me feel overwhelmed at times. 

And sometimes it feels like I'm hitting the wall. 

But.. Heavenly Father gives me what I can only bear now. 

I "accidentally" watched the Face to Face with Elder and Sister Bednar after the usual after work routine. It was live and I only watched the last 45 minutes or so. But I thought I heard what I needed to hear. I felt what I needed to feel. 

So here are several notes I made and the attributes triggered. 

I can do all things Christ. (faith)
There are times when people are silent and they are screaming.. but noone will know that unless with a gift of discernment. (service)
The answer from the Holy Ghost come in small packages most of the time not in big bundles. (patience in receiving revelation)
Decision makings.. you won't know if its correct unless you act and press forward. (to act and not to be acted upon)
Use technology with discipline. 
The things that I do not have answers for do not overrule the things that I have answers for. (faith)
Include the Lord as your partner in every question. 

I love feeling the presence of the Holy Ghost so strong. It's the same feeling I have in the mission conferences, or interview with the mission president.. and in companionship study or teaching the investigators. It was a familiar feeling I missed and wanted to stay everyday, but let's face it.. now that I am back from the mission the feeling as strong as how I felt today can sometimes be blocked. This morning though, I was reminded I could make my own sacred grove anywhere anytime to feel the sweet spirit of revelation. 

And besides not all revelation will come in big bundles or in a strong way. It will come in small packages, most of the time and it's true for me. There are greater things to come. 

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