So this is a second half of what I wanted to share about opening my special packet. Wait, let me savor that first. Receiving a letter from the prophet is one of the best things ever!
This will be more of how I felt emotionally and spiritually about my call.
I was disappointed. Yep, you heard me right and the feeling scared me! I've had anxieties waiting for my call and talking about it among my family helped me reduced the weight of the anticipation. Of course, prayers and fasting helped too. I knew the right things to pray for, humility and preparedness wherever He wants me to go. I felt very ready to go anywhere until I open my call. I guess I just had too many "wants" for my mission. First, I wanted to learn another language but I was hoping not Cebuano. I dislike this language. My work background made me hope for experiences with non-natives companions I thought that it will be just awesome! I am going to Mindanao, so no we don't send non-natives there for over a decade now because of political conflicts. I think I got too carried away of other people's expectations too. You know those "you got skills and all already, I think you'll get called to *insert ideal mission here*"
Okay, I know some of you might say, but these are all shallow reasons. I promise you they're not. I will only be serving for 18 months ONCE after all.
Truth is, I knew God will prove he has humor. :) Well okay, it worked. For a few days I was like " Why there?"And let me tell you, just in case you will be in the same situation with the same feelings. You will be doing what exactly you were doing while waiting for the call. Prayer and fasting after receiving a calling are necessary. I cannot put more emphasis on this.
I have great people in my life. When I thought people would say "erica, you're being less faithful. you should not feel disappointed" I had people telling the right things that edified me. So let me share with you something a friend named Kris sent me. This is a very good read and I will print this out and bring it to my mission.
I learned that it's okay to feel not okay about a calling, it's human nature to feel disappointed. I was reminded of the many ancients prophets who got calls too, Naaman, Enoch, Abraham, Alma younger, sons of mosiah, Saul/Paul etc. Not all of them jumped for joy! But at the end everyone went and obeyed the Lord.
It is my mission but it will not be all about me. I will continue to learn how to leave the I and me and it will be amazing!
So gone are the doubts now and my feelings are all YAY! Im going on a mission! Butuan Mission, I will work my hardest. I will give you the best of my best!
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This will be more of how I felt emotionally and spiritually about my call.
I was disappointed. Yep, you heard me right and the feeling scared me! I've had anxieties waiting for my call and talking about it among my family helped me reduced the weight of the anticipation. Of course, prayers and fasting helped too. I knew the right things to pray for, humility and preparedness wherever He wants me to go. I felt very ready to go anywhere until I open my call. I guess I just had too many "wants" for my mission. First, I wanted to learn another language but I was hoping not Cebuano. I dislike this language. My work background made me hope for experiences with non-natives companions I thought that it will be just awesome! I am going to Mindanao, so no we don't send non-natives there for over a decade now because of political conflicts. I think I got too carried away of other people's expectations too. You know those "you got skills and all already, I think you'll get called to *insert ideal mission here*"
Okay, I know some of you might say, but these are all shallow reasons. I promise you they're not. I will only be serving for 18 months ONCE after all.
Truth is, I knew God will prove he has humor. :) Well okay, it worked. For a few days I was like " Why there?"And let me tell you, just in case you will be in the same situation with the same feelings. You will be doing what exactly you were doing while waiting for the call. Prayer and fasting after receiving a calling are necessary. I cannot put more emphasis on this.
I have great people in my life. When I thought people would say "erica, you're being less faithful. you should not feel disappointed" I had people telling the right things that edified me. So let me share with you something a friend named Kris sent me. This is a very good read and I will print this out and bring it to my mission.
The lives of the early pioneers are excellent examples of how we should accept change and overcome challenges and difficulties.Robert Gardner Jr. was baptized into the Church in January of 1845 in a frozen pond in the backwoods of eastern Canada. Faithful and industrious, he made his way with his family to Nauvoo and, after much hardship, arrived in the Salt Lake Valley in October of 1847. After entering the valley, they camped at a place called Old Fort, located a few blocks from this Conference Center. In his handwritten history, he recorded, “I unyoked my oxen and sat down on my broken wagon tongue, and said I could not go another day’s journey” (“Robert Gardner Jr. Self History and Journal,” Church History Library, 23).Starting with nothing, Robert began to create a new life for himself and his family. The first years were hard, but gradually things improved as he and his brother Archibald began to develop mills on Mill Creek and the Jordan River. A few years later he suffered a reversal of fortune. The water powering his mill was taken upstream, leaving his portion of the stream dry. An attempt to build a six-mile (10-km) canal to the mill failed.Again from his history: “The canal kept breaking until it proved a failure. The failure caused me to lose all my crops and my mill would not run. My stock was all gone and I was flat broke” (“Robert Gardner Jr. Self History and Journal,” 26).If that was not test enough, his next entry in his history informs us he has been called on a mission to Canada. A few months later he left his family and with a contingent of missionaries traveled by handcart, steamboat, and railroad to his field of labor.He completed this mission, returned to his family, and through hard work and diligence once again established himself and began to prosper.Just a few years later Brother Gardner was entertaining some friends at his farm in Millcreek in the Salt Lake Valley. One remarked, “I am glad to see you so well recovered from being broke. You are nearly as well off as you were before you lost your property and went on your mission.”Robert’s history records: “My reply was; ‘Yes I was well off once and it all went off, and I am almost afraid of another [mission] call.’ Sure enough, a few hours later some of my neighbors, who had been to a meeting in Salt Lake City called in and told me that my name was amongst a number of names who were called today to go south on a mission to make a new settlement and raise cotton. We were to start right away.”He records, “I looked and spit, took off my hat and scratched [my head] and thought and said; ‘All right’” (“Robert Gardner Jr. Self History and Journal,” 35; emphasis added).
It is my mission but it will not be all about me. I will continue to learn how to leave the I and me and it will be amazing!
So gone are the doubts now and my feelings are all YAY! Im going on a mission! Butuan Mission, I will work my hardest. I will give you the best of my best!
